A Time of Innocence, A Time of Confidences

On this date in 2003, Dominick and I had our lives changed forever. We had plans to celebrate our friend Mark's 22nd birthday; instead we awoke to a phone call telling us that Mark was hit by a drunk driver the evening before and had died at the scene.


Mortality is an uncomfortable reality for all of us - even those of us whose faith tells us to be unafraid. We were blessed to have one another and so many other people supporting us. I distinctly remember a conversation with my Aunt Bridie, reminding me that the grieving process is necessary and natural - but our faith tells us that it is a selfish feeling of loss as we know that our loved one is in the greatest grace and glory. Somehow, that brought a clarity that I very much needed. During a time of loss, no words can make things "better"...
but her words made me stronger.

Burying and mourning Mark was one of the most difficult times in our young lives; it showed the superficialities of some relationships, and solidified the strength of others. The next year was spent in disbelief, and even after attending the hearing for the young man who had killed him, we somehow expected Mark to walk through the door, sit down and order a coffee.


But soon the profound pain and sadness dulled to an ache, accompanied by a sort of strength...a mission to honor Mark by making the world just a little bit better, since he wouldn't have that chance.
We have our memories of Mark - so many trips to Six Flags, dates at the movies, trips to the Jersey Shore and the Cayman Islands, and unrelenting conversations comprised entirely of movie quotes - and these memories sustain us.



So instead of honoring him yesterday, we've chosen to remember Mark today, which would have been his 26th birthday. We celebrate his life and all of the joy , tenderness, and laughter that he brought into the world, and we thank God for the gift of having known and loved him.

I'd like to share a poem that I wrote upon his passing:

We were fearless once…and young
Tart wine un-aged with timbered dreams
Lives made for stage and movie screen
Where laughter surged in crystal tides
And stolen kisses still abide

We were fearless once…and young
Moonlight laced among smoky truths
Obscured by the hazy tint of youth
In love strewn passages through which we turned
Smoldering whispers tremble and burn

We were fearless once…and young
When dew-spun morning dawned with hope
In pools of promise, dread eloped
Trapped in the circle of time’s parade
Humility bestowed by an ignorant blade

We were fearless once…and young
Coffee steeps where then you sat
In phantom booths where first we met
Eyes rage to condemn all that remains
And those who pretend to be sane or unchanged

We wake now to shadows and incessant fear
Wine aged too soon with abandoned tears
Seamless years unraveled, undone
Where you live fearless…and forever young.